It's hard to believe how busy and complicated life has been the last few months. I had been working a lot and was really busy at home getting ready for the big birthday party for the boys. I had been living at the point of being overwhelmed. Then suddenly everything stopped. Just two weeks ago, my Dad died. As I'm typing those words, I'm still going "What? He died??? No he didn't." It's still very hard for me to believe. So I went from a feeling of running non stop at top speed to feeling like I'm sitting on the curbside while everything moves around me in a blur and I can't focus on anything long enough in order to comprehend what is happening. Hours and days have vanished and I have no idea where I've been or what I've done. Of course other than the obvious highlights - the night he died when it rained over 3 inches and it seemed like a tropical storm had come inland, going to the funeral home with my Dad's clothes in hand to make arrangements and feeling like I may come to blows with the funeral director's son if he makes one more suggestion about casket liners, finally seeing my Dad, and then the funeral. Life is moving on around me and I'm just wondering when is this going to make sense to me. When am I going to get a sense of this new version of life?
At the end of the eulogy at the funeral, Mindy, Monica, and I each gave words that described our Dad, mine were:
a father,
a rebel,
a friend,
spontaneous,
hilarious,
a giver of unconditional love, and
the thread that bound our family together.
I have been thinking a lot about the last two statements. I never realized that he was the true root of our family. No matter what happened in our family, regardless of what one of us had done and whether or not he agreed with our choice, he was always there. He never waivered in his place as a father and I'm very grateful for that. This is one of the gifts he has given me throughout my life. I know I wouldn't be where I am today if it weren't for his unchanging care and support.
At the end of the eulogy at the funeral, Mindy, Monica, and I each gave words that described our Dad, mine were:
a father,
a rebel,
a friend,
spontaneous,
hilarious,
a giver of unconditional love, and
the thread that bound our family together.
I have been thinking a lot about the last two statements. I never realized that he was the true root of our family. No matter what happened in our family, regardless of what one of us had done and whether or not he agreed with our choice, he was always there. He never waivered in his place as a father and I'm very grateful for that. This is one of the gifts he has given me throughout my life. I know I wouldn't be where I am today if it weren't for his unchanging care and support.
Bye Dad...we'll forever miss you.
~ love you ~
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1 comment:
I haen't been on my reader for over 2 weeks. But tonight after our talk I thought I'd peek .... I've been thinking about what I will write on my blog about Dad ... I know I have a million things to do when I'm back home but that's what I've been thinking about. You said it perfectly. You are right he really was the thread of our family. Love you too!
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