To my baby

As I write this I am still pregnant with you, just about 37 weeks. This has been one of the toughest experiences of my life. I'm very glad that this pregnancy is coming to an end. I'm sure that everyone around me is as well. It really has been a long, bumpy road for both of us, but hopefully the end of it will be much smoother. I have complained non stop about how I've felt basically since the day after you were conceived. I knew I was pregnant immediately because my body started changing overnight. You made your presence known from the very beginning and it makes me wonder if this is how you will be for the rest of your life. I have a good feeling it is! I was very sick with you for the first 4 to 5 months and was absolutely miserable. I really wondered if I was going to make it through, but we did even though it's been anything but easy. I just want you to know that as much as I complained about being miserable and uncomfortable throughout this entire time, I never meant that I didn't love you. I feel guilty (and probably will feel it even more after you're born) now that I complained about the pregnancy so much. I know once I hold you and see your sweet little face that I will feel awful for ever complaining about how uncomfortable or sick I was. I will realize what a miracle the whole process was and forget the bad stuff.

We're very excited that you will soon be here with us. I personally will be ecstatic to have you in my arms and no longer in my belly. (I will actually get to sleep in a comfortable position again!) I'm so looking forward to all the wonderful things you will do. I think that during the last few months that I really lost site of anything beyond being pregnant. I couldn't see past the pregnancy and forgot about all the great things to come. We are really looking forward to bringing you home. Neither Daddy or I care if you are a girl or a boy, we just want a healthy baby. We've said that from the beginning, that's all we want. Don't get me wrong, I'm dying to know what sex you are. For the longest time, there was no doubt in my mind that I thought you were a girl. But then last week, I had a very strange, detailed dream that you were a boy. So I'm very torn on what my final vote is. I'm so glad that we didn't find out ahead of time. It will definitely make your birth even more exciting, not just for Daddy and me, but everyone!

So "our time" together as we know it will soon be coming to an end. I am a little sad that this chapter is coming to an end for me because we don't "plan" on having any more babies. But I also realize that I've been very lucky to have gotten pregnant twice very easily and to carry two healthy babies. It's definitely not something I take for granted, it truly is a miracle that I'm very thankful for.

Daddy and I are going to the doctor tomorrow morning for our weekly appointment. Aunt Liz is going to watch your brother and all I ask of you is let us get through one more day! Daddy and I want to go eat a special lunch together before you're born so if you could just hang in there for another 24 hours, we'd really appreciate it. We love you kiddo and can't wait to finally bring you home.

Love~
Mama